The Wedding of Emilie D. and Engelbert R.

Cleveland, Ohio
Tuesday, June 13, 2000
Dr. Rick Rickards, Humanist Minister

Life is like a circus.  It is filled with thrills and excitement.  Not everyone can fly on the trapeze, nor be shot out a gun.  Very few people know how to juggle or perform incredible feats of balance!  Nevertheless, if you think about it, there are lots of things in common between running a successful marriage and running a three-ring circus.  You have to try and keep all the performers happy and working together as a team.  You have to trust each other and always treat your partner with dignity and respect.  You must develop a sense of pride.  Pride in yourself, pride in you partner and above all, pride in your team.  What this means in a successful marriage is pride in your partnership and your couplehood. Nothing is beyond your reach when you can really depend on each other.

Some people like to think that marriages are "made in Heaven." Others believe that marriages are made right here on earth by two people who want to share their dreams.  Two people who are convinced that their kind of partnership does not diminish their individuality in any way. Two people who sincerely believe that together their lives will be richer and more meaningful.

It has been said that Life is like a journey on a train. People are always getting on and off. We meet many passengers during a life time but only rarely do we find a person who is so unusual that we want to be with them for the rest of the journey.

Emilie D. and Engelbert R. are two such people and they work in a circus. Today, they decided to make their relationship official by getting married! Cleveland welcomes you!

What does it take to have a successful marriage?  A successful marriage is a partnership based on mutual happiness.  It is made by two people who have come to the conclusion that they long to coexist, to share, to build and to create.  They want to be free and equally independent, yet bound in a partnership of mutual trust.

Do you, Emilie, want Engelbert to be your husband?  (I DO!)

Do you, Engelbert, want Emilie to be your wife?  (I DO!)

Emilie, with this ring as a token of love and symbol of unity, do you solemnly declare that you will always care for Engelbert and treat him with dignity and respect?

I WILL, (places ring on finger)

Engelbert, with this ring as a token of love and a symbol of unity, do you solemnly declare that you will always care for Emilie and treat her with dignity and respect?

I WILL. (places ring on finger)

To quote from a Native American Wedding Ceremony,

"Now you will feel no rain…
For each of you will be shelter to the other
Now you will feel no cold…
For each of you will be warmth the other
Now there is no more loneliness...
For each of you will be companion to the other.
Now you are two bodies...
But there is only one life before you
Go now to your dwelling place to enter into the days of your togetherness.
And may your days be good and long upon the Earth...

Please seal your vows with a kiss!

Congratulations, Mr. and Mrs. R.!!

The Wedding of Dean and Claudia
Saturday, June 17, 2000
Dr. Rick Rickards, Officiating

Dr. Rickards: Good afternoon and welcome to everyone.  We have come together this afternoon to celebrate the love between this man and this woman as they pledge their lives to one another in marriage.

I am Dr. Rick Rickards, a secular Humanist Minister and I obtained my license in 1963.  It is my good fortune to perform weddings in the State of Ohio.  Let me give you a word of warning and a word of advice.  Getting married is easy. Staying married requires patience and a partnership of mutual trust.

What does it take to have a successful marriage?  A successful marriage is a partnership based on mutual happiness.  It is made by two people who have come to the conclusion that they long to coexist, to share, to build and to create. When difficulties assail you, remember to focus on what is right between you, not only the part that seems wrong.  Each one must take responsibility for helping the other to feel safe, and assign the highest priority to the kindness and consideration that your marriage deserves.

VOWS

Dr. Rickards: Do you, Dean and Claudia, promise together to remain faithful, and be honest in your hopes to create and maintain a loving household?

Dean & Claudia: We do..

Dr. Rickards: Do you also promise to always communicate openly and truthfully with each other so that you may continue to grow together and learn from each other?

Dean & Claudia: We do..

Dr. Rickards: By all that you believe to be true, do each of you hold these vows and promises to be a sacred and integral part of living together as husband and wife?

Dean & Claudia: We do..

Do you, Claudia, want Dean to be your husband?  (I DO!)

Do you, Dean, want Claudia to be your wife?  (I DO!)

Rings

Dr. Rickards: Claudia, with this ring as a token of love and symbol of unity, do you solemnly declare that you will always care for Dean and treat him with dignity and respect?

Claudia: I WILL, (places ring on Dean’s finger)

Dr. Rickards: Dean, with this ring as a token of love and a symbol of unity, do you solemnly declare that you will always care for Claudia and treat her with dignity and respect?

Dean: I WILL‚ (places ring on Claudia’s finger)

To quote from a Native American Wedding Ceremony,
"Now you will feel no rain…
For each of you will be shelter to the other.
Now you will feel no cold…
For each of you will be warmth to the other.
Now there is no more loneliness...
For each of you will be companion to the other.
Now you are two bodies...
But there is only one life before you.
Go now to your dwelling place to enter into the days of your togetherness.
And may your days be good and long upon the Earth...

With the authority vested in me by the State of Ohio, and with the good wishes of all around you, you have now become husband and wife.  Please seal your vows with a kiss!

Congratulations to the newlyweds!

Ladies and Gentlemen,

Mr. and Mrs. Dean ___ !

Dean and Claudia (6-2000)

THE WEDDING OF FRANCIS AND LORRAINE
Saturday, January 29, 2000
Dr. Rick Rickards, Humanist Minister
Chagrin Falls, Ohio

Opening Words

Dr. Rickards:

Welcome everybody!  When I first met Francis and Lorraine, I told them that today, January 29, is the 263rd anniversary of the birthday of Thomas Paine. They asked me to tell you something about him.  Paine was an extraordinary man whose ideas still make "common sense" to this very day.  He was the first person to use the term The United States of  America.  In his book, "The Rights of Man," Paine sums up his views of the world in these words: "Independence is my happiness, and I view things as they are, without regard to place or person; my country is the world, and my religion is to do good."  Great words for all time.

Dr. Rickards:  Francis and Lorraine, please assume the ancient position of handfasting. This is the symbol of infinity.  As you know, it used to be the prerequisite of all marriages in olden days.

This wedding celebrates the joy and beauty of life.  Humanism sees a person as an active and inseparable unity of body and personality.  Reason is the guide, but reason is never separate from the emotions and strivings of the whole person; so that emotion and intellect functioning together provide the firmest foundation for married love.

Marriage is a supreme sharing of experience and an adventure in the most intimate of human relationships.  It is the joyous uniting of a man and a woman whose friendship and mutual understanding have flowered into romance.  Today Francis and Lorraine proclaim their love to the world and we rejoice with them and for them in the new life they now undertake together.

Your marriage will require "love," which is a word often used with vagueness and sentimentality.  We mean something very real, when we bind ourselves in love. It can mean sweet freedom and fulfillment.  When we are in love we see things other people do not see.  We see beneath the surface and observe qualities which make our beloved different from and dearer than all others.  To see with loving eyes is to know inner beauty and to be loved is to be seen and known as we are known to no other.

Such love means security.  Each of us would like to have an absolute security. This we cannot have, but we come close to it when we are loved - when another human being wants us, wants to share life with us, accepts us, without qualification or reservation, not as perfect, but as human, with strengths and weaknesses.

The love of which we speak is not static.  It is a growing and dynamic relationship. We dream that tomorrow we will grow and fulfill our possibilities.  It is wonderful when someone believes in our dream of ourselves and wants to live with us and help make our dreams and aspirations come true.

Love of this sort can grow.  It is not fleeting, remaining only a memory of something which cannot be recovered.  It can grow because it has something to grow upon and grow with. It does not become stale.  Love endures only when the lovers love many things together and not just each other.

True love breeds unlimited courage and confidence.  Such courage and confidence we know are yours as you continue your lives together under the ever embracing bond of marriage. In addition to the affection and thoughtful consideration which you have for one another, you will need a capacity for patience.  This is no light adventure which you are about to embark on.  The art of married life is in mutual enrichment, mental, physical, and spiritual.  It is the interaction between two people, a mingling of two minds which depletes neither, but enables each.

Marriage is dedication.  You give yourself, your life and love, into the hands of the one you love. You do so trustingly and generously.  By the same token, each of you receives a gift - the life and love of the other.  You receive this gift not only from the one you love, but also from the parents who brought you into the world and reared you and from the personal world of friends and family who are joined in friendship and faith in your marriage.

Both Francis and Lorraine believe that there should be equality between men and women in every relevant way and that it is especially important for this principle to be recognized in the marriage relationship.  Marriage must be a cooperative venture in every sense.  It is a relationship based on love, respect and a determination on the part of both wife and husband to adjust to each other's temperaments and moods - in health or sickness, joy or sadness, ease or hardship.

Today we are here to share your joy and hope and to speed you along the path which, from this day forward, you will tread together.  May it be the path bright with the fragrant flowers of prosperity and conquest; a path of deepening and widening love that you shall travel arm in arm throughout your lives.

Statement Of Intention

Dr. Rickards: Francis and Lorraine, the vows you are about to exchange represent the love you pledge to each other.  Are you both ready to stand before us and pledge your vows openly and without reservation?

Francis and Lorraine: We are!

Vows

Dr. Rickards: Francis, do you, Francis Gerald, want Lorraine, to be your wife?

Francis: I do!

Dr. Rickards: Lorraine, do you, Lorraine Katherine , want Francis to be your husband?

Lorraine: I do!

The Ceremony of the Rings

Traditionally, the passage to the status of husband and wife is marked by the exchange of rings. These rings are a symbol of the unbroken circle of love. Love freely given has no beginning and no end. Love freely given has no giver and no receiver - for each is the giver and each is the receiver. May these rings remind you always of the vows you have taken here today.

Dr. Rickards: Do you, Francis, promise by all you hold to be true, that you will love Lorraine and always treat her with dignity and respect?

Francis: I do!

Dr. Rickards: Do you, Lorraine, promise by all you hold to be true, that you will love Francis and always treat him with dignity and respect?

Lorraine: I do!

Dr. Rickards: (To the best man)  May we have the rings, please?

Francis, please repeat after me:

Francis: (Cued) This ring symbolizes my desire | for you to be my wife | from this day forward.  (Places ring on Lorraine’s finger.)

Dr. Rickards: Lorraine, please repeat after me:

Lorraine: (Cued)  This ring symbolizes my desire || that you be my husband ||from this day forward.  (Places ring on Francis’ finger.)

Conclusion:

Dr. Rickards: Francis and Lorraine have exchanged marriage vows and rings. With your friends and family as witnesses and by the power invested in me as a Humanist minister by the State of Ohio I call upon all to recognize that you are now husband and wife!

Treat yourselves and each other with respect, and remind yourselves often of what brought you together.  Take responsibility for making the other one feel safe, and give the highest priority to the tenderness, gentleness and kindness that your marriage deserves.  If, and when, adversity enters your relationship, remember to focus on what is right between you, not only the part that seems wrong.  Then you can ride out the times when clouds drift across the sun in your lives, remembering that, just because you may lose sight of it for a moment, does not mean the sun has disappeared.  If each of you take total responsibility for the quality of your life together, it will be marked by abundance and delight.

Francis and Lorraine, why don’t you seal your vows with a kiss?

Ladies and Gentlemen, I now present to you, THE NEWLYWEDS!

Mr. and Mrs.!

Francis and Lorraine (2000)

THE WEDDING OF GENEVIEVE and PATRICK
Saturday, May 20, 2000
Dr. Rick Rickards, Humanist Minister, officiating.

Introduction

Dr. Rickards: On behalf of Patrick and Genevieve, I wish to extend a very warm welcome to everybody.  I am Dr. Rick Rickards, a Humanist Minister.  I have a delightful job.  For more than 30 years I have had the pleasure and privilege of performing secular weddings for special people of all ages.  What is a secular wedding, you ask?  It is a simple, down-to-earth ceremony, which solemnizes the intent of a couple to get married.  It is not dependent on what the Minister says or does. There are no magical incantations.  The secret of success for a happy marriage is entirely in the hands of the future couple.

Do I, personally, have any advice to give you?  I will try.  First, I would suggest that both of you study and perfect the art of listening. Every day of your life you should listen to each other very carefully. Secondly, I recommend you practice the art of giving and taking; which is to say, learn to compromise.

Thirdly, I want to mention the positive effects of "Pride."  Always be proud of yourself.  Next, always be very proud of each other and do not hesitate to say so. Finally, be especially proud of your couplehood.You are a very special couple. Never forget it! Together, with love, you can achieve anything. Your love for each other means security, and each of us would like to have an absolute security.  This we cannot truly have, but we come close to it when we are loved. When another human being wants us, wants to share their life with us, accepts us, without reservation or qualification, not as perfect, but as human, with strengths and weaknesses. I have said enough for now.  Genevieve and Patrick, tell us about yourselves and your feelings.

Patrick: I don’t remember the moment when I knew that I loved you, or that you were the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, but, from every moment since then, when I look at you, talk to you, I know it as certain as I know the sun will rise. I can’t imagine spending my life with anyone but you.

Genevieve: I remember the first time I told you I loved you, staring deep into your eyes, seeing the same fire and knowing you felt the same without asking.  You stole my heart and opened my mind and made me realize that there can be one perfect person for another.  I can’t imagine spending my life with anyone but you.

Announcement of readings

Dr. Rickards: I will first call on David, the  Father of the Bride, to read a poem by e. e. cummings especially chosen for this day.

David:
e.e.cummings poem:
love is thicker than forget
more thinner than recall
more seldom than a wave is wet
more frequent than to fail

it is most mad and moonly
and less it shall unbe
than all the sea which only
is deeper than the sea

love is less always than to win
less never than alive
less bigger than the least begin
less littler than forgive

it is most sane and sunly
and more it cannot die
then all the sky which only
is higher than the sky

Dr. Rickards: Thank you, David .  Next, I call on Alesha , the Groom’s sister, who will read for us Emerson’s poem "Give All to Love."

Alesha :
Emerson poem "Give All To Love"
Give all to love;
Obey thy heart:
Friends, kindred, days,
Estate, good-fame,
Plans, credit and the Muse,
Nothing refuse.

‘Tis a brave master;
Let it have scope:
Follow it utterly,
Hope beyond hope:

High and more high
It dives into noon,
With wing unspent,
Untold intent;
But it is a god,
Knows its own path
And the outlets of the sky.

It was never for the mean;
It requireth courage stout.
Souls above doubt,
Valor unbending.
It will reward,
They shall return
More than they were,
and ever ascending….

Dr. Rickards: Thank you Alesha.  Next, I will ask the couple to exchange their vows.  During this time they will be carrying out the ancient ritual called "Handfasting."  The right hand holds the right, and the left hand, above, holds the left to complete the union.  This is a very old custom, which represents the symbol of infinity. It used to be the whole ceremony for marriage!  All that a couple had to do to become married was to handfast in public in front of witnesses.

VOWS (unprompted)

Patrick: Genevieve, I promise, by all that I hold to be true, that I will love you always as I love you now.  That I will be with you to support you and help you throughout our life together.  To make you laugh as much as I can and to light up your life as you do mine.  And I promise, most of all, to be your husband for the rest of my life.

Genevieve: Patrick, you know I love you more than anything and I promise by all that I hold to be true, that I will keep loving you and always be by your side.  I promise to support you in whatever you do; to listen to you when you need and to always try to make you smile.  And I promise, most of all, to be your wife for the rest of my life.

The Ceremony of the Rings

Dr. Rickards: Traditionally, the passage to the status of husband and wife is marked by the exchange of rings.  These rings are a symbol of the unbroken circle of love.  Love freely given has no beginning and no end.

Love freely given has no giver and no receiver - for each is the giver and each is the receiver.  May these rings remind you always of the vows you have taken here today.

Dr. Rickards: (To the best man)  May we have the rings, please?

Patrick, please repeat after me:

Patrick: (Cued) This ring symbolizes my desire || for you to be my wife || from this day forward.  (Places ring on Genevieve’s finger.)

Dr. Rickards: Genevieve, please repeat after me:

Genevieve: (Cued)  This ring symbolizes my desire || that you be my husband || from this day forward.  (Places ring on Patrick’s finger.)

Conclusion:

Dr. Rickards: Patrick and Genevieve have exchanged marriage vows and rings. You have now completed your own wedding. With your friends and family as witnesses and by the power invested in me as a Humanist minister by the State of Ohio, I call upon all to recognize that you are now husband and wife!

Dr. Rickards: Why don’t you seal your vows with a kiss?  [Smoooch!] We all wish you a lifetime of success and happiness.

Ladies and Gentlemen, may I present to you, THE NEWLYWEDS!

The Wedding Ceremony of Regina and Rory
June 3, 2000 at the Crawford Auto-Aviation Museum
Dr. Rick Rickards, Humanist Minister, officiating

5:45 PM - 6:15 PM Pre-Ceremony Music
Bach, Brandenburg Concerto I in F Major
Bach, Brandenburg Concerto II in F Major
Bach, Brandenburg Concerto III in G Major

6:15 PM   Processional (Music - Handel’s Water music)

Ceremony

Dr. Rickards: Good evening, friends, and welcome!  We are here to participate in the celebration of the joining together of Gina and Rory.

There are many things to say about marriage.  The history of the world provides much wisdom concerning the joining together of two individuals.  Different cultures and various systems of belief each have their own customs and ceremonies.  With each union, more knowledge was gained and more wisdom gathered.  Although I am unable to convey all this information to these two who stand before us, I hope to leave with them the knowledge of love and its strengths and the anticipation of the wisdom that comes with time.  In the words of the poet:

"There is beauty in the simpleness of giving
 To a purpose that is subtle and sublime…
 Where the secret of enjoying life is living
 And the limit to our happiness is time"

The law of life is love unto all beings.  Without love, life is nothing; without love, death has no redemption.  There is a saying that: "One finds more pleasure not to take, but give…  For life is love and everyone can live!"

In his 116th sonnet, William Shakespeare wrote of love:
Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments.  Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O, no! it is an ever-fixed mark,
That looks on tempests and is never shaken,
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come;
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error, and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.

In this passage, Shakespeare has captured the essential qualities of love. As with any aspect of life, love has its cycles, its ups and its downs, its trials and its triumphs. Love requires commitment, trust, and work.  Many times love also requires the compromise of desires.  Yet, the love between two people can survive all of that and thrive in that environment.  With full understanding of this, Gina and Rory have come here today to be joined as one in the bond of marriage.

Gina and Rory have chosen to symbolize their union by engaging in "Handfasting."  This is an ancient ritual performed by the joining of hands so the couple's arms form a double circle, an infinity sign, if you will.  This is to symbolize one bonding of two separate individuals.  At this time, Gina and Rory will state their intentions.

Dr. Rickards: [to Gina]  Do you, Gina, want Rory to be your husband?

Gina:   I DO

Dr. Rickards:  [to Rory]  Do you, Rory, want Gina to be your wife?

Rory:  I DO

Dr. Rickards: Another symbol of love is the wedding ring. As an unbroken circle, the ring is a symbol of unity. Because no couple can be together all of the time, we use rings to symbolize the bonds that Gina and Rory are agreeing to today.  May we have the rings please?  [turning to Gina] Gina, please repeat after me…

Gina:  Rory, || will you accept this ring || as a token of love || and a symbol of unity? || Will you be my husband?

Rory:  I WILL  [Dr. Rickards turns to Rory] …Rory, please repeat after me…

Rory: Gina, || will you accept this ring || as a token of love || and a symbol of unity? ||  Will you be my wife?

Gina:   I WILL

Dr. Rickards: Now, by your own actions, you are married! [Kiss] Congratulations and may you thrive together in health and happiness and live long and joyous lives.

Friends, allow me to present, the newlyweds, Mr. and Mrs.!

Recessional - Beethoven, Ode to Joy

Wedding Ceremony of Susan and Jeremy
Friday, June 16th, 2000   5:00 p.m.
Mooreland rose garden, Kirtland, OH
Dr. Rick Rickards officiating

Wedding Processional with harp.

After mothers are seated, Dr. Rickards will rise from right front row and take his place at front.
At appropriate time, Dr. R will nod to mothers, Kathy and Sharon, to rise and light family candles
Wedding party enters

INTRODUCTION
Dr. Rickards:  Welcome, family and friends to the wedding celebration of Susan and Jeremy. We are here today because Susan and Jeremy have found in each other a spirit of joy and a sense of shared purpose, a common world view and life philosophy, and a companionship based in love that is so profound to them that they wish to unite their lives in marriage.  Indeed, their resolution to be life companions constitutes their marriage to each other.  But as these two individuals are a part of a greater community than themselves, we have been invited here to welcome them as wife and husband into society.

Jeremy:  I’d like to welcome you, our family and friends, to our wedding today as well. For us, our wedding is a personal covenant between Susan and myself, and at the same time, it is a happy occasion that we want to share with all of you. So we invite you to enjoy yourselves and this beautiful day. And to remember how good it is to be in love.

Susan:  A wedding is also an experience that brings to mind the people in your life that are close to you. All of you have on some level have shaped our paths or added meaning to who we are. To that unspeakable debt, we can only say, we love you, and thank you for joining us on our special day.

Dr. Rickards: Thank you Susan and thank you Jeremy for sharing your comments with all of us.  I shall now call on Patricia, the sister of Susan.  Patricia…

READINGS

Reader #1:  One of the hobbies Susan and Jeremy enjoy doing together is collecting children’s books they remember reading as kids. This reading is a selected passage from The Velveteen Rabbit.

"What is REAL?’ asked the Rabbit one day…Does it mean having things buzz inside you and a stick-out-handle?’
"Real isn’t how you are made,’ said the Skin Horse. ‘It’s a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real. It doesn’t happen all at once. You become. It takes a long time. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.’"

Dr. Rickards: Thank you, Patricia,  Now I will call on Mike, the brother of Jeremy.  Mike…

STATEMENT ABOUT MARRIAGE
Mike (brother of groom):  Marriage is the supreme sharing of human experience and an adventure in the most intimate of human relationships. It is the joyous uniting of a man and a woman whose comradeship and mutual understanding have flowered into romance.

As many of you probably have heard, it was Susan and Jeremy’s mutual fascination with science that acted as a catalyst in their courtship. They met at Ohio State University when they both began using a particular instrument to do their research. The ironic thing about this instrument is that it measures the affinity of two molecules for one another.  Susan e-mailed Jeremy often to get advice on evaluating data. The tutorials went quite well. They also provided a convenient way for Susan to thank Jeremy for his help- by taking him out to lunch. The rest is history.

Dr. Rickards:  (to guests)

Thank you, Mike.  Marriage, of course, is an inexact science. There are many theories on how it works, but there are no laws. Each marriage is unique. (To couple): Susan and Jeremy…this marriage of yours is your own and there will never be another like it. The ways in which you choose to grow, and to grow together, to maintain your own individualities, while sharing the important parts of your lives; to pursue your own goals while supporting each other’s goals; to hold fast to your own personhood while surrendering yourselves to the relationship you are building; the ways that you discover and invent to accomplish these things will come from the deepest place in each of you, and will generate the real substance, as well as the outer form of your relationship. Together and individually, you will create the meaning of your lives.

Treat yourselves and each other with respect, and remind yourselves often of what brought you together. When difficulty assails you, remember to focus on what is right between you, not only the part that seems wrong. In the inexact science of marriage, the little things are the big things. Take responsibility for making the other one safe, and assign the highest priority to the tenderness, gentleness, and kindness that your connection deserves. It is the giving that makes you what you are; a life lived in this spirit will be marked by abundance and joy.

Now, in the spirit of giving, I invite you to exchange your vows with one another.  Jeremy…

VOWS
Jeremy: This I vow, Susan: by all that I hold to be true, that I will always adore you, for your dignity, your spirit, your beauty, your intellect, and your heart. You are my companion in both friendship and in love. I promise to live my life with you fully and deliberately. I offer myself, unconditionally, as your husband and I would be honored to have you as my wife.

Dr. Rickards: Susan…

Susan:   It is my vow, Jeremy, by all that I hold to be true, that I will love and to care for you, to reach for you completely, and to grow and share with you, in all the varying experiences of our lives.  I invite you to be my husband, and I offer myself and my love, unconditionally, as your wife.

Dr. Rickards: I now call on Jeff, friend of the couple.  Jeff…

EXCHANGING OF RINGS
Jeff (friend) Reader: A wedding ring is a circle, a mythic image. The anthropologist Joseph Campbell was once asked what it symbolized. He responded, " The word ‘sym-bol’ itself means two things put together. One person has one half, the other the other half, and then they come together. Recognition comes from putting the ring together, the completed circle. [It is saying T]his is my marriage, this is the merging of my individual life in a larger life that is of two, where the two are one. The ring indicates that we are in a circle together."

Dr. Rickards: May we have the rings please?  Jeremy?

Jeremy: Susan, with this ring, do you accept all that I am and all that I will be, and will you me my wife?
Susan: I will! (Places ring on finger)

Dr. Rickards: Susan?
Susan: Jeremy, with this ring, do you accept all that I am and all that I will be, and will you be my husband?
Jeremy : I will! (Places ring on finger)

CANDLE RITUAL
Dr. Rickards: Susan and Jeremy are now going to light a candle to symbolize their new unity and that of their families as they each take from the flames of their family’s candles.

(They light the candle)

May this new light glow within you all of the days of your lives. And may it shine upon all who know you. I now call upon Mary, a friend of the couple, to read a poem.  Mary…

READING #2

Mary:  Now the rite is duly done,
   Now the word is spoken,
   And the spell has made us one
   Which may ne’er be broken:
   Rest we, dearest, in our home,
   Roam we o’er the heather,
   We shall rest, and we shall roam,
   Shall we not?  Together.

   From this hour the summer rose
   Sweeter breathes to charm us:
   From this hour the winter snows
   Lighter fall to harm us:
   Fair or foul - on land or sea -
   Come the wind or weather,
   Best or worst, whate’er they be,
   We shall be together.

CLOSING

Dr. Rickards: Thank you, Mary…and now, by the authority vested in me by the State of Ohio, and with the blessing of your families and friends, you have pronounced yourselves husband and wife. Would you like to seal your vows with a kiss?

[couple kisses]

I now call upon Chris the brother-in-law of Susan to read the Apache Wedding Poem.  Chris, if you please…

Chris, reading (brother-in-law of Susan):

Apache Wedding Poem

Now you will feel no rain,
For each of you will be shelter to the other.
Now you will feel no cold,
For each of you will be warmth to the other.
Now there is no more loneliness for you,
For each of you will be companion to the other.
Now you are two bodies,
But there is only one life before you.
Go now to your dwelling place,
To enter into the days of your togetherness.
And may your days be good and long upon the earth.

Dr. Rickards:  Thank you, Chris…With a perfect and abiding confidence, with a
trust and affection which knows no limitation - we send them forth upon their
journey of life - to laugh for joy; to struggle; to seek; to share; and to find…

Ladies and gentleman, I now present to you: the Drs. ______ !

[processional out]

Dr. Rickards: Please proceed to the house for refreshments so that we can toast the Bride and Groom.

THE WEDDING OF NICOLE AND DANIEL
Saturday, October 14th 2000; Cleveland, Ohio
Dr. Rick Rickards, Humanist Minister, officiating

Welcome, family and friends to the wedding celebration of Nicole and Daniel.  We are here today because Nicole and Daniel have found in each other laughter and joy and a sense of shared purpose, a common world view and life philosophy.  They have created a companionship based in love that is so profound to them that they wish to unite their lives in marriage.

So what is "Love?"  Some children between the ages of 4 and 8 were asked that question, "What is love?" and their responses were beautiful.  Young children are the most honest people on earth.  Here are some of their answers:
 

• "When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore.  So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love."
• "When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You know that your name is safe in their mouth."
• "Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other."
• "Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs."
• "Love is what makes you smile when you're tired."
• "Love is when my Mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK."
• "Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen."
• "Love is when Mommy sees daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford."
• "Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day."
• "You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it.  But if you mean it, you should say it a lot.  People forget."

Daniel and Nicole’s marriage does not begin today.  It began when the two of them first decided to combine their separate lives into one.  No one, not the state, nor a religion, nor I can create this marriage.  Only Daniel and Nicole can do that.  This ceremony merely marks the moment when this relationship moves into a new and deeper meaning.

Daniel and Nicole have made a list of the values that they believe are the foundation of a relationship and marriage.  These concepts, include - Respect, Friendship, Passion, Trust, Communication and Honesty.

Dr. Rickards: [To the couple]  Do you Daniel, and you, Nicole, uphold these principles in your relationship with one another, and will you respect, befriend, carry passion and trust, communicate and remain honest to each other?

Nicole and Daniel: [Together] We will!

Dr. Rickards: May we have the rings please!  Daniel, please repeat after me…"I, Daniel, take you, * Nicole, * to be my wife; * To be no other than yourself, * Loving what I know of you. *.  Trusting what I do not yet know, * With respect for your integrity *.  And faith in your love for me *.  Through all of our years on earth *.  In whatever the future may bring *.  With confidence that together * We are responsible for our destiny. * [Puts ring on to Nicole’s finger]

Dr. Rickards: Nicole, please repeat after me…I, Nicole, * Take you, Daniel, * To be no other than yourself, * Loving what I know of you, * Trusting what I do not yet know, * With respect for your integrity * And faith in your love for me * Through all of our years on earth *  In whatever the future may bring * With confidence that together * We are responsible for our destiny   [Puts ring on Daniel’s finger]

Dr. Rickards: [reads Apache Wedding Poem]

Now you will feel no rain,
For each of you will be shelter to the other.
Now you will feel no cold,
For each of you will be warmth to the other.
Now there is no more loneliness for you,
For each of you will be companion to the other.
Now you are two bodies,
But there is only one life before you.
Go now to your dwelling place,
To enter into the days of your togetherness.
And may your days be good and long upon the earth.

Dr. Rickards:  [Commentary]
Treat yourselves and each other with respect, and remind yourselves often of what brought you together.  Take responsibility for making the other one feel safe, and give the highest priority to the tenderness, gentleness and kindness that your marriage deserves.  If, and when, adversity enters your relationship, remember to focus on what is right between you, not only the part that seems wrong.

Then you can ride out the times when clouds drift across the sun in your lives, remembering that, just because you may lose sight of it for a moment, does not mean the sun has disappeared.  If each of you take total responsibility for the quality of your life together, it will be marked by abundance and delight.

Daniel and Nicole have exchanged marriage vows and rings.  With your friends and family as witnesses and by the power vested in me as a Humanist Minister by the State of Ohio, I call upon all to recognize that you are now husband and wife!

Nicole and Daniel, why don’t you seal your vows with a kiss? [Smooch!]

Ladies and Gentlemen, I now present to you, THE NEWLYWEDS!

Comments to guests to get a drink and hors d’oeuvres and to tour the gallery. The Bride and Groom will be back in a few minutes.

Opening Statement

Dr. Rickards: On behalf of the bride and groom I would like to welcome everyone and thank you all for being here and for being a part of this ceremony.  We are here today to witness the wedding of Randy and Lisa

Marriage is to be entered into with a mutual respect and trust.  Love and devotion will be the foundation.  Marriage is a supreme sharing of experience and an adventure in the most intimate of human relationships.  It is the joyous uniting of a man and woman whose friendship and mutual understanding have flowered into romance.  Today Randy and Lisa proclaim their love to the world and we rejoice with them and for them in the new life they now undertake together.

Your marriage will require "love", which is a word often used with vagueness and sentimentality.  We mean something very real, when we bind ourselves in love.  It can mean freedom and fulfillment.  When we are in love we see things other people do not see.  We see beneath the surface and observe qualities that make our beloved different from and dearer than all others.  To see with loving eyes is to know inner beauty and to be loved is to be seen and known to no other.

Such love means security.  Each of us would like to have an absolute security. This we cannot have but we come close when we are loved - when another human being wants us, wants to share their life with us, accepts us,

The love of which we speak creates a growing and dynamic relationship.  Lisa and Randy dream that tomorrow they will grow and fulfill their potentials.  It is wonderful when someone believes in our dream of ourselves and wants to live with us and help make our dreams and aspirations come true.

Love of this sort can grow.  It is not fleeting, remaining only a memory of something that cannot be recovered.  It can grow because it has something to grow upon and grow with.  It does not become stale.  Love endures only when the lovers love many things together and not just each other.  Randy and Lisa, are a shining example of what comes from a love that has grown together.  Here today is the manifestation of love, your child.

We often smile upon our children praising them for their growth and development but we sometimes over look the growth and development that we, both as an individual and together as parents share with our children.  Upon bringing a child into this world you have allowed your love for each other to reach a higher level. Your love is not just a love for each other but a love for your new family.  In turn making your circle - a symbol used to represent endless love - only much more extensive.

Your family circle also encompasses three sets of parents where most only have two.  Lisa explained this unique situation to me, she said, "William and Patricia are my birth parents,  I couldn't be here without them.Larry and Carolyn are the parents who raised me and help make me the person I am today.  Peter and Wendy, Randy's parents, have opened their home and their hearts to me and accepted me into their family - without any questions asked."  Randy and Lisa, do not fail to appreciate this gift.  The love they have to give, will grow along with you and the family you two have started together.

True love breeds unlimited courage and confidence.  Such courage and confidence we know are yours as you continue your lives together under the ever-embracing bond of marriage.  In addition to the affection and thoughtful consideration that you have for one another, you will need a capacity for patience.  Your experience first as lovers and now as parents has shown you two different but equally important aspects of patience.  In the technologically advanced society we share today, patience is often forgotten.  But in marriage, patience is what you will have to fall upon during times of hardship.  This is no light adventure on which you are about to embark.  The art of married life is in mutual enrichment, mental, physical, and spiritual.  It is the interaction between two people, a mingling of two minds which depletes neither, but enables each.

Marriage must be a cooperative venture in every sense.  It is a relationship based on love, respect and a determination on the part of both wife and husband to adjust to each other's temperaments and moods - in health or sickness, joy or sadness, ease or hardship. There should be equality and respect between men and women in every relevant way and that it is especially important for this principle to be recognized in the marriage relationship.

Today we are here to share your joy and hope and to speed you along the path which, from this day forward, you will tread together as husband and wife.  May it be the path bright with the fragrant flowers of prosperity and conquest; a path of deepening and widening love that you shall travel arm in arm throughout your lives.

Statement Of Intention

Dr. Rickards: Randy and Lisa, are you ready to stand before us and pledge your vows openly and without reservation?

Randy and Lisa: We are.

Dr. Rickards: If the vows you are about to make are kept with honor and integrity, your life together will be full of peace and happiness.  The vows you are about to exchange represent the love you pledge to each other.  It is not the words you speak which bond you together as one, but the inner sense of love and commitment that each of you feels for the other. Will you, Randy and Lisa, promise to stand by one another through life and always do your best to give your spouse and partner all the support, encouragement, affection, and understanding they need?

Randy and Lisa: We will.

The Ceremony of the Rings

Dr. Rickards: There is a circular pattern to the cycle of life.  The circle is a symbol of wholeness, of perfection, and of peace.  And in these rings, it is the symbol of unity in which your two lives are now joined in one unbroken circle of endless love.  For love freely given has no beginning and no end.  Love freely given has no giver and no receiver, each is the giver and each the receiver.  May these rings always remind you of the vows you have taken here today.

Will you, Randy, according to all that you hold to be true, solemnly declare your love for Lisa, and promise to share your life with her and treat Lisa with honor, kindness, and respect.

Randy:  I will.

Dr Rickards: Please take this ring and place it on Lisa's finger and repeat after me.  "Lisa, with this ring /  will you accept me / for all that I am and all that I will be / and will you take me as your husband / today, tomorrow, and forever?"

Lisa:  I will.

Dr. Rickards: Will you, Lisa, according to all that you hold to be true, solemnly declare your love for Randy, and promise to share your life with him and treat Randy with honor, kindness, and respect.

Lisa:  I will.

Dr Rickards: Please take this ring and place it on Randy's finger and repeat after me. "Randy, with this ring / will you accept me / for all that I am and all that I will be / and will you take me as your wife / today, tomorrow, and forever?"

Randy:  I will.

Closing Statement

Dr. Rickards: Randy and Lisa, may you always treat yourselves and each other with respect and remind yourselves often of what brought you together.  Take responsibility for making each other feel safe, and give the highest priority to the tenderness, gentleness, and kindness that your marriage deserves.  If, and when, adversity enters your relationship, remember to focus on what is right between you, not only the part that seems wrong.  Then you can ride out the times when clouds drift across the sun in your lives, remembering that, just because you may lose sight of the sun for a moment, does not mean that it has disappeared.  If each of you take total responsibility for the quality of your life together, it will be marked by abundance and delight.

With the authority vested in me by the State of Ohio, and with the love of all those around you, I now pronounce you husband and wife.

You may kiss the bride!  (Smoooch)

Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you the NEWLYWEDS! RANDY and LISA!

THE WEDDING OF DENISE AND DEAN
FRIDAY OCTOBER 13, 2000, 2PM BIRCH ALLEE, STAN HYWET
HALL AND GARDENS - AKRON, OHIO
DR. RICK RICKARDS, HUMANIST MINISTER

Opening Words

Dr. Rickards:  We are gathered here to witness the wedding of Dean and Denise. The ceremony of marriage, in one form or another, has been with us since the dawn of civilization.  Marriage is now, and always was, a serious undertaking, not to be regarded lightly.  Those who enter into this relationship should hold mutual esteem and love for each other, bear each other's weaknesses, comfort each other in sickness, trouble and sorrow, and encourage each other in the trials of life. To be true, this outward ceremony must be but a symbol of that which is inner and real, a sacred union of hearts that the church may bless and the state make legal, but that neither can create nor annul.  Love and loyalty will be the foundation for marriage.  If the solemn vows you are about to make today are kept with honor and integrity, your life together will be full of peace and joy, and the home you are establishing will be one of warmth and understanding.

Acknowledgment of Family and Friends

Dr. Rickards: Please listen carefully because I am going to ask, first the parents, and then all of you in the audience, to participate in this ceremony. Your job, at the appropriate time, is to say: - "We do!"

It is fortunate that you, the family and friends are here to participate in the wedding.  The ideals, the understanding, and the mutual respect, which these two bring to their marriage, have roots that have been nurtured and shaped by the love, friendship, and guidance, that you have given them.

As Dean and Denise are wed they will bring together their individual families so that each family is enriched and enlarged.  Would both sets of parents please come up to the podium?

[to them]
Dr. Rickards: Do you, Susan and Kevin, who have nurtured Denise, bestow your love on their union and welcome Dean into your family as a loving son, friend and husband of Denise?
Susan and Kevin: We Do!
[to them]
Dr. Rickards: Do you, Pat and John, who have nurtured Dean, bestow your blessing on their union and welcome Denise into your family as a loving daughter, friend and wife of Dean?
Pat and John: We Do!
[to the audience]
Dr. Rickards: And finally, do you, the family and friends of Dean and Denise, promise to acknowledge, support, and strengthen this union?

Audience: We do !

Dr. Rickards: Thank you!  [to the parents]  You may return.

Reading:

Dr. Rickards: This wedding celebrates the joy and beauty of life. Humanism sees a person as an active and inseparable unity of body and personality.  Reason is the guide, but reason is never separate from the emotions and strivings of the whole person.  It is emotion and intellect, functioning together, that provide the firmest foundation of married love.

Dean and Denise rely on modern scientific methods for answers to their questions about life.  They know the beautiful story of evolution and accept the fact of our life forms as a natural happening in the course of events of the evolution of the universe.  If there is anywhere a reason for life it is LOVE.

Love permeates one's entire being: "Whenever a man and woman are deeply in love, their whole activity is energized and victorious.  They walk better, their digestion improves.  They think more clearly, their secret worries drop away, the world is fresh and interesting, and they can do more than they dreamed they could do."

Marriage is a supreme sharing of experience and an adventure in the most intimate of human relationships.  It is the joyous uniting of a man and a woman whose friendship and mutual understanding have flowered into romance.  Today, Dean and Denise proclaim their love to the world and we rejoice with them and for them in the new life they now undertake.

The love of which we speak is not static, it is a growing and dynamic relationship.  We dream that tomorrow we will grow and fulfill our possibilities.  It is a "blessing" when somebody believes in our dream of ourselves and wants to live with us and help make the dreams and aspirations come true.

Love of this sort can grow, it is not fleeting, remaining only a memory of something which can not be recovered.  It can grow because it has something to grow upon and grow with.  It does not become stale. Love endures, only when the lovers love many things together, and not just each other.

The art of married life is in mutual enrichment, mental, physical and spiritual. It is the interaction between two people, a mingling of two minds, which depletes neither but enables each.

Marriage is dedication.  You give yourself, your life, and love, into the hands of the one you love.  You do so trustingly and generously.  By the same token, each of you receives a gift; the life and love of the other.  You receive this gift not only from the one you love, but also from the parents who brought you into the world, and reared you and from the personal world of friends and family who are joined in friendship and faith in your marriage.

Both Dean and Denise believe that there should be equality between men and women in every relevant way, and that it is especially important for this principle to be recognized in the marriage relationship.

Marriage must be a cooperative venture, in every sense.  It is a relationship based on love, respect, and a determination on the part of both wife and husband to adjust to each other's temperaments and moods - in health or sickness, joy or sadness, ease or hardship.

Today, we are here to share your joy and hope and to speed you along the path which, from this day forward, you will tread together.  May it be the path bright with the fragrant flowers of prosperity and conquest; a path of deepening and widening love that you shall travel throughout your lives.

Statement of Intention

Dr. Rickards: Dean and Denise, the vows you are about to exchange represent the love you pledge to each other.  Are you both ready to stand before us and pledge your vows openly, and without reservation?

Dean and Denise:  We are!

Vows: Dr. Rickards:  Denise, your vow, please…

Denise:  Dean, you are my best friend!  We play, laugh and cry together.  We philosophize about the universe, and solve the world's problems together. You are my punching bag.  I wrestle my frustrations out on you.  You are my playmate, I laugh with you, my heart is bursting with joy. You are my strength.  When I'm weak and afraid of the world and myself, you make me feel whole and good again. You are my lover.  We share our minds, dreams and souls completely. In being all this you are my husband.

Dr. Rickards:  Now, Dean, let us hear from you…

Dean: Denise, I stand here today to join my life with yours as your husband.  I do this because I believe that although the music of a single instrument may be beautiful, the music of two instruments played together may be far more than twice as beautiful, for the sound of each influences the sound of the other. So it is for me, that with you, I am capable of feelings, efforts, and accomplishments far greater and richer than by myself.  We are able to perform together a duet of great enjoyment and immense satisfaction with an exhilarating and exciting harmony, we share the leadership of our song, our marriage.  Few of the notes that we will play tomorrow are known to us today.  It is our skills and wills, as life's musicians, that keep the song alive.  So long as there is music in me I will play with you as my partner.  In being all this you are my wife.

Dr. Rickards: At this point in the ceremony, Dean and Denise would like everyone to take a moment to reflect on the beauty of our natural surroundings here accompanied by the string quartet playing part of Vivaldi's "Four Seasons"  The Fall.

STRING QUARTET PLAYS

Dr. Rickards: Denise and Dean have chosen to symbolize their union by engaging in "Handfasting."  This is an ancient ritual performed by the joining of hands so the couple's arms form a double circle, an infinity sign, if you will.  This is to symbolize one bonding of two separate individuals.

Dr. Rickards: Do you, Dean, promise by all that you hold to be true, take Denise to be your wife, to love her, honor her and always treat her with dignity and respect?

Dean: I Do!

Dr. Rickards: Do you , Denise, promise by all that you hold to be true, take Dean to be your husband, to love him, honor him and always treat him with dignity and respect?

Denise: I Do!

Dr. Rickards: Rings please!  Dean please repeat after me

Dean:(cued) Denise, this ring is a gift for you. * It symbolizes my desire * for you to be my wife * from this day forward. (gives Denise her ring)

Dr. Rickards: Denise, please repeat after me

Denise:(cued) Dean, this ring is a gift for you, * it symbolizes my desire * for you to be my husband * from this day forward. (gives Dean his ring)

Dr. Rickards: Now I will call upon Susan, a dear friend of Dean and Denise, to perform a reading called "Title To Follow" Susan…

Susan:

Dr. Rickards: Dean and Denise, you may now kiss each other for the first time as husband and wife.  [Smooch!]

Dr. Rickards:  I now present to you - The Newlyweds! The Doctors Dean and Denise!

String quartet plays... Ladies and Gentlemen, there will be a receiving line etc....